Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Life's Stormy Shores

I preface this blog post by saying that there is not enough gratitude in the world that I have for all of you who have lived and supported and survived along with me. I know it can be hard to watch it, but to then have to read about it is a lot. I get it. I love you. On to my post....

I never expected to love writing for this blog like I have. It is a safe place for me to voice my inner thoughts, and my hope is that there are readers who hear their own inner voices echoed in my words. This is not meant as my sad story. It is challenging, trying at times, but it is a testament to my survival despite all these less than fortunate situations that have occurred over the past 16 years.  My words are those of a song of celebration for the sheer fact that I have come through so much! Things can always be worse.

I started this blog to sort of satisfy my aunt who thought writing one would give me good exposure and experience towards writing a book of my own. I have been writing said book for so long, and my life has fragmented in all these different life experiences and medical debacles that the book is now about 20 books, all incomplete. Her suggestion was a gift. This blog is a labor of love. I've made it my mission to make those dealing with chronic pain feel less alone, less afraid and less hopeless.

One of my biggest frustrations is the lack of response from my Facebook "family". For all of you who do regularly respond and make comments, you have no idea what joy it brings me. My former teachers especially, you give me GREAT feedback, and that only helps me grow. I know the sites aren't connected, so you have to go to the site to read the blog,  and then you have to go back to Facebook to hit "Like" or write a comment. I have gotten feedback from friends and family that they don't feel it's appropriate to "Like" something that is so sad or tragic, or that it makes them too sad to even read it. And perhaps, sometimes it's just a bit TOO honest (which I can appreciate.)

I see people who post something like, "OMG! That show was AMAZ! I just can't. It was just amaz." (this is not an actual quote. I just selected a few incomplete words that have been circulating, and I threw together a nonsense salad.) And what kills me is that they get double-digit "Likes" and comments. It feels like not being one of the popular kids in high school all over again. THIS, is MY problem. It's something I have to change in myself. What I truly need to focus on is connecting with the people who are dealing with similar issues and who need to feel understood, despite the pain and the craziness it has brought to their lives.  Please be clear, this post isn't a cry for more "Likes" or Comments on Facebook.

Going through all that I have only makes the small things in life all that much more precious. My request of you is that next time you see my blog post appear on Facebook, don't think of sadness. I'm just asking for a shift in your perception of me. Strength is not something we are granted. We have to endure some stormy days to earn it, and we've all been there in some way, shape or form. There is a secret I've learned over the years. God makes a great raincoat. Yes, I have suffered, but to do nothing with all I've learned from it would make my suffering be in vain. And that serves no one. That lets the negativity win, and my cup isn't just half full, it overflows.

Thank you for supporting me on this journey!