Saturday, July 19, 2014

Attitude over Pain

At the dawn of my health issues, never in a million years did I think they would still be monopolizing my life almost fifteen years down the road. With every year, a little bit more of my spirit as been  whittled away by the physical and emotional effects of pain, and yet I am always being told how strong I am. People say, "I don't think I could do it" or "I could never deal with what you do". It makes me laugh to myself, as there really isn't any other choice. Sink or swim. We don't really get to pick the illnesses we're given, but we CAN pick the attitudes we have while surviving them.

For all the pain I have in my life, I have so much more love that it keeps me from giving up. It's like a reservoir of water for a long journey through a desert. No matter what you are trying to overcome, love trumps adversity. It's one of those things they should teach you in school, right up there with how to balance your check book.  It gives you a leg up on whatever you are trying to overcome. Even in the bleakest times of your life, even when the pain makes you feel like you’re being apart at the seams,  love is like the magic thread that sews you back together.  

I can remember times when my hopelessness felt like I was standing on a cliff overlooking nothing but sharp rocks and dark seas. There were times when I came pretty close to falling onto the rocks below. The love of my family and friends was the rope that pulled me back from that ledge.  I can face whatever may come so long as I have the love of those close to me, and so that I can return the love I am given.  I believe that having a purpose in life gives you a reason to push forward no matter how great your issue may be. It's a reason to wake up every day. And the thing I do best is loving the people in my life. It gives me incredible joy and peace.

A lot of different things go into the healing process, but love is the main ingredient. It does things that Western medicine (and Eastern for that matter) can't do. If I didn’t have this much love in my life, I think the pain would kill me; I think the pain would win. Love is like a booster shot that gives you a leg up when you feel like you can’t climb any higher.  If you find yourself lost, just follow the love and you'll find yourself home. And by home, I'm not talking about a structure. In the span of your life, you may live in a dozen different houses, but there will be one home that will follow you everywhere.