Friday, September 12, 2014

Best Laid Plans

I know there is a saying "When people plan, God laughs", and he has been laughing this week as I've tried to keep up with my plans to write a post everyday about a different coping skill in preparation for today's surgery. That didn't work out so well. Alas, it is now the morning of surgery, and I'm a wee bit nervous, and I don't think any amount of planning could have kept me from this natural fear of being cut open. So instead of hearing my controlled emotions each day, you instead get to hear my sarcasm the morning of surgery.

The last time I was hospitalized, I came across the show "Naked and Alone". At first I was a bit mortified by the show, but now I'm a fan. And while watching a rerun yesterday, I realized while the show entertains me so. The name of the show could very well describe the day of surgery. You are made to get naked, you go into a room full of spectators and are stripped of your dignity, and by the end of your hospital adventure, you smell and are it great need of a shower and a good meal. My fascination with show all makes sense.

So it's o-dark-thirty, and I am expected to take my second shower in 5 hours with this heavy-duty soap that could easily wash my skin away if done too many times, no less the germs it's supposedly meant to wash off. Yesterday, showering with antibacterial soap was my cardio. At this point, I hope you can taste my sarcasm, as it's about all that's left as I prepare for today's major operation.  Fortunately, I'm my surgeon's first case of the day, so hopefully he hasn't had the chance to get drunk, and its not so late that he's falling asleep. Thank God for every blessing!

I'm trying to figure out how NOT to be scared knowing that I'm going to wake up with about forty staples running down my abdomen, almost like a zipper. God willing, there will be no infection or complication. I've had my fill of problematic surgery for the year. I would be truly grateful for every prayer, no sarcasm. My humor is my armor, but underneath I'm just a woman who has been sick for a long time, and whose greatest wish is to come out of this operation with a little less pain in the future.

My blog gives me such joy, and your comments and emails mean so much! I am grateful for every wish for wellness, and every prayer! This past week or so, the blog has been a little less active between my vacation and pre-op appointments. I hope to come through surgery stronger than ever! May all of you be well until I return.